I wake up most mornings with imposter syndrome. They say imposter syndrome is like a voice in your head that tells you you’re not good enough. I see it as the thing that keeps telling me that “they” are going to find out that I’m not good enough soon and that kicks in procrastination as I shouldn’t bother in doing that thing or that people will judge me. Either way its best if i don’t do it, so I don’t get embarrassed – this is the main concern, as I’m British and embarrassment it what keeps us all in check. There is a reason why we don’t boast!
I normally experience imposter syndrome when I am about to “put myself out there” like when i publish a book or promote it on a platform or tell my parents – I’m afraid of telling friends and family as well as complete strangers. If I am successful I will definitely put it down to external factors like luck or timing, rather than my own abilities or that it was actually good. I would like to say I am modest instead of saying I have difficulty taking credit for something – it’s a bit of pain to be honest.
I could say I have got over it now that I have published 3 books and have 2 more on the way, but I haven’t, instead what I have is procrastination that manifests itself in be wanting to clean the bloody house, load the dishwasher, hell I’ll even do some work on my 9-5 – that is how bad it has been getting.
Procrastination is like that friend who shows up uninvited and convinces you to put off your work for “just five more minutes”. The problem I have is that I also default to being that friend, normally in a pub and with a phrase that is closer to “one for the road?” but I do not need any convincing that is the point.
I spend a lot of time each day feeling guilty and unproductive. But I also feel proud and not-guilty as I have done the washing, cleaned the kitchen and helped my wife as she now does not need to do those things after she comes back to work. Win-win, apart from the bits I’m avoiding like the books.
The key i have found is to set small, manageable goals – not too bad and not too hard. And to hold yourself accountable for meeting them – bloody hard and nearly impossible.
If procrastination does manage to sneak its way in, I’ve now decided to remind myself that it’s okay to take a break and come back to your work later with a fresh perspective or have a lie down on the sofa and watch TikTok for a couple of hours.
I doubt this is the motivational post you thought it may have been, you know the one, “Me stuggleing against the evil of procrastination and imposter syndrome, how I got over it and you can too!”
I haven’t – but I haven’t but I do have bursts of inspiration or time that it’s asleep when I can do something for a while, when its not looking – good luck!
Finally, a way I have managed to manage this issue is to just announce a target date and then I have to try to hit it, or I look stupid – that is why the last two posts have been about my next two works in progress.
For Inspiration; I’m not always bad at procrastination – here is a time-lapse of me building and burning a huge bonfire with the scouts.
Leave a Reply